Gnomes
by MoonlitKaitou
Summary: AU Yami is having any normal day trying to figure out how things work in this world of ours until... Screech! Yugi brings home a gnome? Poor Yami goes through total hell as this little creature ruins his life for sure! Please R&R!


_**Authoress Notes: **Hello everybody! Ok, I used to have this story out a long time ago, but it got deleted because it was in script format, when I didn't realize that suddenly script format wasn't allowed so I'm now bringing it back even better and not in script format, lol. _

_Now to let you know before hand, Yami has his own body in here, its AU so what do you expect, lol? _

_Umm… also I do not allow flames, if I see a flame I will take to it personally and e-mail you back if you have an e-mail or if you leave me one to e-mail you by. _

_Though I do allow constructive criticism, so please if you have some then tell me, but please do not word it in any way that is offensive like a flame, thank you. _

_Now onto the story! I hope you all enjoy! _

**Disclaimer- **_Sorceress Vanessa does not own any of the Yu-Gi-Oh characters or the story plotline, they are rightfully owned by Kazuki Takahashi. _

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_**Gnomes**_

_**One-shot Short Story**_

_**By: Sorceress Vanessa**_

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Yami sat down on the couch and stared with unblinking eyes at the object in front of him. He raised an eyebrow at it as sweat started to pour down his face, he was getting tired but he wasn't going to give up until he figured it out. Such a simple thing didn't seem so complicated, but to Yami it was hell. It was even worse then trying to face off any evil villain in a duel. 

He put his hand onto his chin as he sat there thinking, still unblinking like he was trying to have an eye contest with the inanimate object that stared right back at him with an evil face that said _'You'll never win!'_

Yami started to growl in annoyance as he tried to figure it out when he suddenly jumped up and ran towards it like a mad raving animal that had lost its mind.

"**I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!**"

Yami lunged at it and collided with such force it sent the thing flying into the air, where two small hands catched it as gracefully as he could without it breaking.

"Yami, again? How many times have I told you not to go trying to kill everything in the house that you can't understand?"

Yami looked over in annoyance at his Hikari. "The thing is evil Yugi! I stared at it for 30 minutes trying to understand what to do, but I could not figure it out and it just kept staring at me and taunting me I swear!"

Yugi rolled his eyes in response as he set the jar of peanut butter on the coffee table. "This is how you open it up Yami. You set the jar down carefully and you twist the cap off and wha la, you have peanut butter!"

Yugi demonstrated as Yami sat there wide-eyed. "I didn't realize it was so easy!"

"Now you try and be careful…"

"I will Hikari don't worry, I won't do anything stupid!" Yami said gleefully, now that he understood how to get the dang peanut butter open.

The jar of PB was his pride and joy, it had a lovely taste to it and Yugi was never able to pry it away from him, until now since Yami knows how to open the bottle.

Yami did the steps exactly as Yugi showed and opened the jar up carefully and when he did he looked down and saw the creamy substance staring right back at him as his eyes glittered in delight. "**SUCCESS!**"

Yami threw the jar up in the air as it went crashing through the front yard window into the yard as they both rushed over to see it lying on the ground, peanut butter splattered on the green grass.

Yugi sighed in frustration, "Grandpa is going to kill you…"

But Yami wasn't paying attention as he saw his peanut butter plastered all over the grass; nature had taken his love as he made a few sniffles.

Yugi once again rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen, picking up the groceries he had sat down because he had to catch the peanut butter. "You better clean that up before Grandpa gets home or he'll chop you up into little pieces!"

Yami was still not listening as he came into the kitchen pouting, wondering if there was possibly anymore peanut butter anywhere else when he looked onto the kitchen counter and screamed loudly.

"Ow, Yami stop all that screaming!" Yugi screeched as he plugged his ears.

"That… that thing!" Yami shakily pointed a finger at the object Yugi had just taken out and set down onto the table.

Yugi looked towards the object Yami was pointing at and picked it up. "This? Yami this is just a garden gnome!"

"It's evil…"

Yugi just smiled and started to bring the gnome towards Yami as he backed away. "Keep that thing away from me!"

"Yami, the thing is harmless!" Yugi said bringing the gnome closer as Yami ran off, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"**YAMI!**"

Yugi started to chase Yami with the gnome in both his hands, but soon the phone rang right when he caught Yami in a corner, "Now Yami, I'll be right back, I'm going to set the gnome right in front of you, don't be afraid of the gnome… it's harmless."

But Yami wasn't listening nor did he hear Yugi walk away to answer the phone as he stared down at the devilish thing looking back at him with rosy red cheeks and smile on his plump face connected to his short, fat body.

Suddenly he swore he saw the little fellows eyes turn red for a moment. Yami shook his head around thinking that he was just imagining it, but when he looked at it closer, moving his face closer to the inanimate object, it's eyes turned red and his mouth turned into a smirk.

"**AHHH!**"

Yugi picked up the phone. "Hello?"

Yugi ignores Yami's screaming as he tries to listen to the other person on the line as Yami is running by in the background being chased by the garden gnome with a remote in his hand.

"Oh, hey grandpa! How are you?"

You then here a '**_TWHAP!_**' and a '**_CLUNK!_**' as Yugi looks behind him into the living room, but sees nothing and shrugs his shoulders as he listens to his grandpa.

"Yep, I got the garden gnome you wanted!"

Yami runs by again, but in the other direction with tears running down his face and a big bump on his head from where he was hit in the head by the remote as you see the garden gnome cackling evilly still chasing after the poor Yami.

Once again Yugi turns around to see who is making all that noise, but sees nothing and wonders what in the world Yami is doing in there. "Wait, you want me to get another one, why?"

"**MAKE IT STOP!**"

Yami runs by holding his head as the gnome starts flinging things at him, what appears to look like… popcorn?

"Uh… it's nothing grandpa, Yami is a little afraid of the gnome that I just brought home…"

This time Yami is being rolled around by the gnome who is still cackling like a maniac, holding a roll of toilet paper as Yami is yelling out in pain.

"Ok, I'll tell Yami to calm down and I will go out and get the other gnome, ok? Bye Grandpa and don't stay out to long!"

Yugi then shut the phone off and set it down as he sighed, walking into the living room where his eyes opened wide. "**YAMI?** What in the world did you do!"

Yami was tangled up in toilet paper, some even stuffed in his mouth as the gnome was sitting in the same spot where Yugi had left him.

"Ok, forget I even asked, at least you didn't do anything to the gnome," Yugi walked over to Yami and took the huge wad of toilet paper out of his mouth.

"**THAT THING ATTACKED ME AND TRIED TO KILL ME AND THEN HE TIED ME UP AND TOLD ME THAT HE IS GOING TO GO AFTER TEA!**"

Yugi just stood there wide eyed at Yami's outburst as he blinked his eyes in surprise, "Ok… Yami I think you need to sit down and rest for a bit."

"**NO! I CAN'T!** Tea is in danger! He is going after her because in her last name it say's gardener and he hates gardeners! **HE'S GOING TO KILL HER!**"

"Yami, the thing is an inanimate object! He can't do anything and he can't _talk_! Please sit down and rest…"

"But… but…" Yami was shakily trying to get over everything that just happened and was trying to make himself believe it was a dream, but it all seemed too real.

Yami was twitching on the couch as he stared at the gnome while Yugi looked at his Yami's state and shook his head. "Yami, I'm going to go out, Grandpa…"

Yugi thought for a moment if he should actually tell Yami about him getting another gnome and he decided against it or Yami would probably be going off the walls again.

Yami looked towards him, eyes wide and twitching still, "Grandpa wants me to get a few more groceries, it shouldn't take to long."

Yami looked back over towards the gnome as it smirked at him and Yami screamed, "It's going to **KILL TEA!**"

"And… I'm going to put this upstairs so you won't be bothered by it and if it will make you feel better I'll put it in the closet and lock it up."

Yugi took the gnome away, but Yami was still looking at the same spot, not moving an inch except for his constant shaking which he couldn't stop himself from doing.

"Ok, I'll be right back Yami, just stay where you are, ok?"

Yami still stood there, blinking every once in a while as Yugi shook his head, but walked out the door and closed the door slowly behind him. Right when the door was closed Yami jumped from his seat and ran towards the phone and picked it up, wondering how you work it.

"How do you use this stupid thing!"

Yami was just wigging out, but then he noticed Tea's name on the phone and saw a button next to it and as he pressed it the phone started ringing as Yami looked around, but saw no sign of the little devil… yet.

"Yami, I knew you would somehow try to reach Tea!"

Yami whipped around to see Yugi pointing at him, with the door wide open behind him, "Yugi don't leave the door open for the gnome!"

"_Hello? Is anybody there?_"

"_**Tea, it's Yami!** **THE GNOME IS COMING FOR YOOOUU!**_"

"Yami cut it out!"

"_Wha-what Yami? Yugi? What is going on and gnomes?_"

Yugi and Yami started fighting over the phone trying to pry out of each others hands. "Yami let go of the phone now! The gnome is _not_ real and it is _not_ going to attack Tea!"

"Yes it is! He's after her I tell you!"

"**YAMI! PUT DOWN THE PHONE!**"

"**_TEA RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!_**"

"_Hello? You guys? What is all this fuss about gnomes and phones? Hello?_"

_.:DING-DONG:._

"_Hold on you guys, the doorbell is ringing…_" You hear walking footsteps and a door opening, "_Oh this is such a cute gnome, I wonder who left it-… **AHHHHHH!**_"

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**THE END… OR IS IT?**

**_And will we ever find out what will happen to the peanut butter?_**

**

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**SEQUEL- _EVIL ELF_**

**Sequel will be out in ½ weeks… Be sure to check for it…**

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**__**Authoress Notes: **How did you all like it? Well.. I do hoped you liked it and if you're all wondering why the sequel is about an elf… you'll see soon enough when I come out with it! Please review if you liked and see ya lata and thank you for reading! _

_P.S.- I'm sorry if there are some mistakes, I tried as hard as I can not to screw everything up!_


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